“This is more a personal anecdote than anything. This whole post is just feeding SEO, anyways.

The year was 2022. I had went back to Toronto, my place of birth, for a few months to work on ‘my normal book’ while taking periodic photo jobs. I got hooked on stringing pulp pieces to the gutter papers – whatever sensational nonsense was happening around me. I just kept getting lucky with an endless buffet of car crashes, protests, and acts of public indecency seemingly just happening as I was taking my aimless walks. Now, obviously, none of these photos are really ‘useful’ or ‘good’ beyond their already-served purpose, but it leads me to this story.

Jays and Cubs, August 29. Jays were losing most of the game, coming back to tie it up in the 8th before winning in extra innings. Excellent, what an evening. HOWEVER! There just happened to be some couple fucking at the top of the nosebleeds – a dozen rows behind me. I laughed, as one is prone to do, before catching some footage of them being busted by the fun police mid-coitus. What else could I do? I sent the footage out. I thought it would be funny if anyone jumped on it.

Everyone did. It ran pretty much everywhere over the next few days. There could be no funnier thing to have happen over the summer than to wind up having such nonsense in the New York Post. It’s such a massive personal achievement for a muckraker like myself.

Now: now i’m selling the original iPhone and the original files of this massively important moment in sports history. This is a real sale of a real piece of Blue Jays history. As i’m currently being forced to liquidate my assets in order to pay for my ‘next overly ambitious photo book,’ this is your moment to grab a truly unique piece of Toronto sports memorabilia.

It even comes framed!”

Purchase